When I woke up in the Emergency Room on April 28, 2015, I felt as though my life was over, and I wanted to die. I looked at the faces of my loved ones, and the disappointment, sadness and anger was all too apparent. I had wrecked my car in an alcoholic blackout, and had been charged with a DWI. My now ex-husband took our son to his parent’s house, and my mom was left to take me home. The next day I made the decision to enter treatment, and I self-reported to the Louisiana State Board of Nursing. There was no fight. I had no other options if I wanted to live.
The plan was for me to have a chance to talk to my son before I left and try to explain to a 5-year-old that "mommy was sick, and that I needed to go somewhere to get well." No truer statement could have been uttered. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stop drinking long enough to tell my son "Goodbye." I was powerless over drugs and alcohol. I firmly believe that God did for me what I could not do for myself. He intervened when I was at the lowest point in my life. I could not stop drinking to the point of blacking out, and I could not stop taking pills. I was slowly killing myself.
Thankfully, on April 30, 2015, my mom and a friend brought me to treatment, and this is when my life started to change. I began to learn about myself. I began to deal with the issues of my childhood. I was honest like never before. I formed life-long friendships, and I found strength in the many counselors, therapists, and other people in AA that shared their experiences, strength and hope with me. I learned that alcohol and drugs weren’t my problem, that I was my problem. After I completed part of my treatment as an in-patient, I transitioned into Palmetto’s Halfway House, and entered their Intensive Outpatient Program in Monroe. During this time, I was going through a very contentious divorce, but by having the support and love from my IOP group and the women in the Halfway House, I was able to face the wreckage of my past and hold my head up and fight. I finally had a voice. This transition was so vital and beneficial to me. I needed to learn how to live again – to live life on life’s terms.
Once I completed treatment, part of my recommendations was to attend Palmetto’s Aftercare one night a week for 2 years. My Aftercare group had become my new-found family. They have become the brothers and sisters that I never had. These are men and women who are valiantly working and living the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. In Aftercare, I continue to grow. I have grown exponentially, both spiritually and emotionally. Aftercare has been, and continues to be, my favorite part of recovery. In Aftercare, I continue to learn about myself. I continue to make strides in my recovery, and most importantly I continue to heal. It gives me great comfort to know that in addition to my weekly AA meetings that once a week for 3 hours, I am surrounded by men and women in recovery who truly know me inside and out. These men and women have celebrated my triumphs and have picked me up when I was down, and for this I am truly grateful.
My recovery journey is not over; it will never be over. I know that I have to fight every day if I want to stay sober. I have to continue to deal with the consequences of my addiction on a daily basis, but my Aftercare family loves me and supports me through it all. If it weren’t for Palmetto, I wouldn’t have the restored relationships with my parents, and I wouldn’t have been given a second chance to be the mom to my son that God made me to be. I never thought that I would ever be able to say that I am grateful to be an alcoholic and an addict, but today I can honestly say that I am eternally grateful. I believe with all of my heart that God and Palmetto saved my life. I believe that God brought me to Palmetto, and Palmetto and AA brought me back to God.
Jennifer Levinson, Sobriety date: May 1, 2015
If you or anyone you know would be interested in a visit from Palmetto’s experienced clinical staff, please contact me: Hollye Rogers, C.O.O., at (866) 848-3001, or you would be more than welcome to visit us at our main facility in Rayville, Louisiana, on beautiful Lake Lafourche.
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